Dawn French

Tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock . . . midnight. The old millennium turns into the new. In the same hospital, two very different women give birth to two very similar daughters. Hope leaves with a beautiful baby girl. Anna leaves with empty arms. 

Seventeen years later, the gods who keep watch over broken-hearted mothers wreak mighty revenge, and the truth starts rolling, terrible and deep, toward them all. The power of mother-love will be tested to its limits. Perhaps beyond...

Behind a locked door Coraline finds a twisted, creepy, version of her new home. In this nightmare world she meets her own mum and dad, but they have buttons for eyes and they are much more possessive of her than she is used to.

Etta is sixty-eight years old. Happy, healthy and an active participant in her world, she's gathered her family together for an unforgettable weekend.

At 5am that Saturday morning, Etta wakes her daughter, her granddaughter, her son and her daughter-in-law up to lead everyone down to the beach. To 'Etta's Hollow', where a roaring fire has already been lit. Drowsy but delighted - the sun is just starting to rise for a glorious dawn - Etta's family bask in the beauty of the moment. A memory to be cherished forever.

Until twenty minutes later, when Etta announces to her assembled beloveds something as shocking as it is alarming. 'I have brought you all down to the beach this morning to tell you something important. You see, the thing is, today is my last day alive.'

Over the next twenty-four hours, Etta and her family are about to have the most surprising, affecting life-affirming day of all their lives.

When I was younger I wanted to be an interesting, sophisticated, semi-heroic, multi-layered person. BUT. That kind of perfect is impossible. Being an actual twat is much more the real me. Sorry to boast, but I am a champion twat. In The Twat Files I will tell you about all the times I've been a total and utter twat. The moments where I've misunderstood stuff and messed up. In my life these have been key because: Mistakes tell us about ourselves. Mistakes tell us about others. Mistakes are hilarious. Mistakes expose our flaws. Mistakes show us ourselves honestly. Mistakes are gloriously human. My hope is that these stories might fire up yer engines to remind you of just what a massive twat you also are. Let's celebrate and revel in this most delightful of traits together. That would be perfectly twatty.